Fuck you, Adobe

The Beginning

So I took my MacBook Pro in to get serviced. They fixed a video card problem and kindly put in a new hard drive (free! bigger!) because the current one was failing (they said). I got it back 2 days ago.

Super. Today I was working and opened (my bought, paid for, legitimate) Photoshop CS3 and was greeted with this

Licensing for this product has stopped

Ok, sometimes things happen. So let’s fix it. I find my CS3 Suite discs and uninstall Photoshop CS3 and reinstall it, my work on hold for about 45 minutes.

It’s done, and I click on the “new” PS icon.

Still the same message when I try to open Photoshop: licensing for this product has stopped.

WTF. Looks like they built in some twist when they created the knife in the back re-license process.

Licensing for this product has still stopped

Google takes me here, which says to do one of 4 things, make that 3 because one is a Windows only license retrieval method.

Solution 1: Apply the Licensing Service Update
Solution 2: Set the FLEXnet Licensing Service to Manual and Start the service. (Windows only)
Solution 3: Reset your permissions on the FLEXnet folder
Solution 4: Rename the FLEXnet folder

“Solution” 1 takes me to a CLICK THROUGH agreement to download their  license patching software.

So I agree to their 8 paragraph agreement and get the download. The web page instructions say to click on LicenseRecoveryLauncher.app, but of course that’s NOT IN THE DOWNLOAD. LicenseRecover.py, LicenseRecover and LicenseRecoveryLauncher are, and I find out through trial and error that LicenseRecoveryLauncher is the one to double click.

That opens a Terminal window which runs a script that asks me if I’m essentially ready to run the script, and if I know that running it can harm my Mac. Great. I run it, I get some output in the Terminal window, and it’s done.

Still the same message when I try to open Photoshop: licensing for this product has stopped.

Licensing for this product has stopped despite Hurculean Efforts

I run LicenseRecoveryLauncher again because at the end of the Terminal output, it says you should in case it doesn’t work. So I do, no joy.

Still the same message when I try to open Photoshop: licensing for this product has stopped.

Ok, I say, I’ve still got two more methods to try: 1. Resetting permissions and 2. Renaming the FLEXnet folder. Can you see where this is going? Yea. Those don’t work either.

Still the same message when I try to open Photoshop: licensing for this product has stopped.

Licensing for this product has stopped because Adobe Sucks, their reps mumble, and their tech “support” is only open until 5pm. How quaint. I hope they’re not overworked those poor things.

So I call Adobe Customer Service hoping they can help. Thirty-two minutes later, after a 15-minute wait on hold and a 17-minute mumblefest with a rep, I’m now armed with the knowledge that my only option is to call Technical Support. Tomorrow.

Licensing for this product has stopped, Photoshop still looks much like the 2.5 demo I used back in 1993, its interface and menu organization haven’t changed since the OS 7 days, and Abobe treats its customers like criminals.

Fuck you, Adobe. I hope you soon go the way of Quark.