If big tech companies have to say something isn’t dead, that usually means one thing: it’s dead.

From Yahoo:

Speculation about the Zune spiked after this Financial Times story, in which Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer says that we “should not anticipate” a Zune phone (no, really?) and that Redmond (as the FT paraphrases) “would stick to its strategy of developing software to support a range of mobile devices.”

The Financial Times story then goes on, noting that Ballmer “seemed all but ready to throw in the towel on the Zune mobile device” during his CES keynote, and speculating that “if there is a future for Zune, it lies in planting the software and online service linked to the player in other devices.”

But Zune spokesman Adam Sohn insists that “a lot of people … took [Ballmer's comments] and ran in the wrong direction,” adding that “a lot of people jumped to an ‘either/or,’ when in fact it’s a ‘both/and’ situation.”

It wasn’t hard to predict the mediocrity of Zune. It’s Microsoft hardware, for goodness’ sake, running Microsoft software saddled with RIAA rules.

Maybe nobody’s said Zune is dead yet, but I’m saying now it was doomed from birth.

Awaking from a deep public image slumber, Microsoft said it has canceled the disjointed $300M ad campaign featuring Jerry Seinfeld and Bill Gates, and now says it will level its ad guns at Apple’s “I’m a Mac” ads.

Microsoft decided not to focus on odd antics of Seinfeld and Gates this time around and instead will feature a company engineer who resembles the PC guy (aka John Hodgman) in Apple’s ads. According to those familiar with the new ad the “PC” guy says, “Hello, I’m a PC and I’ve been made into a stereotype.”

Heads across the Internet have found themselves being scratched 80% less since this story broke earlier today.

I saw it yesterday (from a distance, no sound) on TV and thought man this is a long ad, what message could take that long?

I think it “plays” long because there’s too much going on. I worked at an ad agency for almost 4 years, and I know how these things work. If you don’t have one very powerful creative type running things, you get an ad created by too many people. Too many cooks spoil the soup. Everybody wants their “bit” in the spot, and in the absence of a strong leader, they get it. This affliction is rampant in US advertising.

I watched it again and I see Woof’s points.

I can close my eyes and see what happened here: one ad agency creative had to have his churros, another had to have the ID card, another had to have the shoe stiffness joke, another had to have his “you’re a 10″ joke. It adds up.

I think on a very intellectual level, to Seinfeld show lovers (10+ years ago now), it works. But to the other 85% of the country it’s a too-long, unfunny, muddled message head scratcher. And next to the simple, quick, biting Get a Mac Apple ads, it’s a clear loser.

But here’s the most important thing about it: when compared to the Apple ads, the ad mirrors exactly the much larger corporate themes. Apple and its products are focused and simple, and Microsoft is a disaster, both in products, message and corporate direction.

NBC and Miscrosoft may team up to create a content owner’s dream device, one that will provide “filtering technology that allows for playback of legitimately purchased content versus non-legitimately purchased content.”

My take? NBC and MS will gratify each other in an Alcatraz-like Zune yin-yan, one that’s sure to provide a pretext for private lavish director-level NBC-MS lunches, gushing press releases, demonization of fair use, and circle-jerky boardroom meetings that will make defense contractors blush.

And the public will continue to ignore the Zune because of it. These companies just don’t get it.

A future update of the software for Microsoft’s portable media player may well include a feature that will block unauthorized copies of copyrighted videos from being played on it.

Tuesday, Microsoft announced that it would start selling video programming for the Zune, mainly TV shows. These include programs from NBC Universal, which has pulled its shows off Apple’s iTunes Store.

Late Tuesday afternoon I reached J. B. Perrette, the president of digital distribution for NBC Universal, to ask why NBC found Microsoft’s video store more appealing than Apple’s.

He explained that NBC, like most studios, would like the broadest distribution possible for its programming. But it has two disputes with Apple.

First, Apple insists that all TV shows have an identical wholesale price so that it can sell all of them at $1.99. NBC wants to sell its programs for whatever price it chooses.

Second, Apple refused to cooperate with NBC on building filters into its iPod player to remove pirated movies and videos.

Microsoft, by contrast, will accept NBC’s pricing scheme and will work with it to try to develop a copyright